HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY KEELI

AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN
FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
I THINK I AM GOING TO BE SICK
KEELI'S FIRST BABY DOLL

It is hard to believe that Keeli has been with us a year. I want to share some of my feelings and experiences that we have experienced this past year. After numerous failed doctor visits and many tears we came to the conclusion that our family is complete with Austin and Justin. In the back of our minds we always considered adoption. Honestly, I was not too thrilled with the idea at first. I was so scared of all the unknowns. There were so many uncertainties and that frightened me. We had two beautiful boys and life was good. Why would we want to change a good thing?

I am now forever grateful for the wonderful blessing of adoption. I remember the butterflies in my stomach as we first met our birth mother. There was an instant connection. My heart ached for this sweet young girl. I wanted to adopt her and her baby. I instantly fell in love with our birth mother. My emotions were all over the place. I was sad and heartbroken for the trial that this sweet,young, girl was facing. I was also so proud of this young girl for her tremendous courage, and desire to know that adoption would be the best choice for her baby. I never knew that you could be excited and yet heartbroken at the same time. (you can)

Words cannot express the gratitude in my heart when both Randy and I got to see this beautiful, baby born. We were in love. Keeli made her debut into this world and melted our hearts. I can truly say that the day that we signed the adoption papers had to be the hardest, most emotional day of my entire life. I was saying good-bye to a young girl that I wanted to take home. I knew that we would not see each other for a long time. I knew her heart was breaking as she was giving us her new born baby. My heart was breaking knowing I was taking her baby. The only words I could express to this beautiful young mother are "Thank You!" and "We Love You!" Adoption truly is a gift of love.

Keeli is truly our princess. We all love and adore her. Our lives have forever changed since Keeli came into our family. She definitely is the main attraction. I cannot help but smile as she dances to the music on the i-pod. She has this head bob that is hilarious. She also loves to sing. It has been so much fun singing all the lullabye’s that I never thought I would sing again. Her little cheeks are constantly being kissed. It is a race to the crib in the morning to get Keeli. Our all time favorite is when Keeli cuddles up to us and pats our back. We call it "pat, pat." That melts our heart every time. I had no idea the love we would have for this precious little girl. I look at her and my eyes get teary. She is the ultimate gift.

I love adoption! I will always be grateful to this beautiful young birth mother. Her courage, strength and love allowed us to become parents of this precious baby girl. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father’s Plan. We are so blessed to have this gospel. I will always and forever hold a special place in my heart for our birth mother. We will never forget what she has done for us. I love her and pray for her happiness.

This is Randy here. Jana asked me to add my input and feelings about Keeli. I read what Jana wrote and I'm not sure how to follow that up. She pretty much said it all and I'd like to add "ditto" to everything she said. Jana is amazing.

I've had people ask if it is possible to love an adopted child as much as a natural child. I have to admit that I wondered the same before adopting Keeli. I knew how much I love my boys and wondered if I could love an adopted child that much. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized that Jana is not my flesh and blood and I can't imagine loving another as much as I love her. I have come to realize that it is not your own blood that you love, but rather it is the bonding, experiences, commitment, respect, awe, and admiration that allows your love to grow for another. I feel all of these feelings in such a huge way toward Jana, Austin & Justin. Without a doubt, it is no different with Keeli. I sometimes feel like I am on hallowed ground and unworthy of such an incredible blessing of being able to be her dad. I hold her little hands and look into her eyes and feel like she is too good to be true. I feel those feelings of awe, admiration and respect for this little child. I hope and am committed to be everything to her that will give her the greatest chance for happiness and joy in life. It is definitely true that the harder you work and longer you wait to get something, the more you appreciate it. Keeli is no exception to this rule. Having a child later in life really makes us appreciate how fortunate we are. We don't want to miss a moment and know how fast they grow.

I look at all the selfishness in this world and recognize that most decisions are made by people trying to fulfill only their own desires and wants. I have these same feelings of awe, admiration and respect for her birth mom when she said that she wanted to break the pattern of children being raised in broken homes and wanted Keeli to have a better life than she had. It's amazing that there can be so much evil and pain in this world and yet so much beauty and righteousness at the same time.

Since she was born, I can look at Keeli and have tears pool up in my eyes on a frequent basis. She brings so much joy to our family. Life is so precious and unpredictable. We have to make the most out of every day we have with these wonderful children. I'm so sad to have Austin leaving our home in nearly a year and Justin in 3 years, and yet so excited about the adult relationship I will have with them and the 17 more years we get to spend raising Keeli.